A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has
provided the answer to where do pets come from?
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked
with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am
lonesome here & it is difficult for me to remember how
much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion
for you that will be with you forever & who will be a
reflection of my love for you, so that you will love
me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new
companion will accept you as you are & will love you
as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for
Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam & he
wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the
animals in the Kingdom & I cannot think of a name for
this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this
new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his
name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will
call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam & was a companion to him &
loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was
pleased. And Dog was content & wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian
angel came to the Lord & said, "Lord, Adam has become
filled with pride. He struts & preens like a peacock &
he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed
taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him
a companion who will be with him forever & who will
see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his
limitations, so he will know that he is not always
worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat
would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's
eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being.
And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And the Dog was happy.
And the Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.
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