I am WOMAN! I shave my legs, I sit down to pee. And I can justify any shopping spree. Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon. Can get a massage without a hard-on. I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas. Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass. My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong. I don't drive in circles at any cost, And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost. I never forget an important date. You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late. I don't watch movies with lots of gore. Don't need instant replay to remember the score. I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch, And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch. Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her. In your dreams, my dear, I can do better! Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best. Would you look at my face, not at my chest! I don't have a problem with Expressing my feelings, I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling . Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick. I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick?!