Department: Treasury Internal: nue service Fresno: 1888 January 1,1990 Dear Male Taxpayer, The only thing that the IRS has not taxed for you is your pecker. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed.30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and it is activly employed on 10% of the time. Further, when employed, it operates in the hole. Furthermore it has two dependants and they are both nuts. Accordingly, the IRS has decided that after Januaury 31, 1990 you pecker will be subject to taxation based on the size. Use the pecker checker chart below to determine your category, and part V line six on the standard form 1040. PECKER CHECKER SCALE 10-12 inches--Luxuary tax--$50.00 8-10 inches--Pole tax-----$25.00 6-8 inches--Privilege tax $15.00 4-5 inches----Nuisance tax $5.00 NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund of $5.00 .PLease DO NOT ask for extension. Males with a pecker in excess of 12 inches should file under *CAPITAL GAINS*. If you are unsure of the correct category, please advise your nearest IRS office and we will send out a PETER METER READER to asist you. Very Truly Yours, Your IRS Tax WOMAN!!!