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Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A. They don't have balls to scratch.

Q. What's flat and pink and smells like pussy?
A. My tongue.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.

Q: Did you hear about the lesbian who took Viagra?
A: She couldn't get her tongue back in her mouth for a week!

Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat it - we're closed.

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