SCIENCE EXAMS: (Direct Quotes from the 5th Grade -- Government School) Water is composed of two gins: Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines on them and makes them perspire. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives. The tides are a fight between the earth, the moon and the sun. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. The Equator is a managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa. Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Rhubarb is a kind of celery gone bloodshot. The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u. The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars. When you breathe, you inspire. When you don't breathe, you expire. For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor. To prevent contraception: wear a condominium. For drowning: climb on top of the victim and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration. Germinate: To become a naturalized German. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.