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Basic Bar Terminology

1. YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME
-Means: We won't be here long enough to get another round.

2. I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU.
-Means: Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

3. HEY, WHERE IS THAT GIRL FRIEND OF YOURS?
-Means: I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to have sex with your girl friend.)

4. I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL. (FEMALE)
-Means: I'm easy.

5. I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL. (MALE)
-Means: I'm gay.

6. I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN. (FEMALE)
-Means: I'm really easy.)

7. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN. (MALE)
-Means: I'm really gay.

8. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME. (FEMALE)
-Means: You're paying more attention to your friends than to me.

9. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME. (MALE)
-Means: I'm horny.

10. WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?
-Means: I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

11. EXCUSE ME. (MALE TO MALE)
-Means: Get the hell out of the way.

12. EXCUSE ME. (MALE TO FEMALE)
-Means: I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.

13. EXCUSE ME. (FEMALE TO MALE)
-Means: Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.

14. EXCUSE ME. (FEMALE TO FEMALE)
-Means: Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, Miss Thing, coming in here dressed like a Pasadena hoochie momma...And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.)

15. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP?
-Means: What's cheap?

16. EVER TRY A BODY SHOT? (MALE TO FEMALE)
-Means: I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

17. EVER TRY A BODY SHOT? (FEMALE TO MALE)
-Means: If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?

18. THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR.
-Means: Did I sleep with him/her?

19. CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER? (FEMALE)
-Means: I am really annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.

20. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME. (FEMALE)
-Means: I'm 19.

21. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME. (MALE)
-Means: I don't have a license since I got pulled over by the cops for being stoned after my last visit here.

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