Basic Bar Terminology 1. YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME -Means: We won't be here long enough to get another round. 2. I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU. -Means: Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop. 3. HEY, WHERE IS THAT GIRL FRIEND OF YOURS? -Means: I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to have sex with your girl friend.) 4. I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL. (FEMALE) -Means: I'm easy. 5. I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL. (MALE) -Means: I'm gay. 6. I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN. (FEMALE) -Means: I'm really easy.) 7. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN. (MALE) -Means: I'm really gay. 8. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME. (FEMALE) -Means: You're paying more attention to your friends than to me. 9. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME. (MALE) -Means: I'm horny. 10. WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND? -Means: I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention. 11. EXCUSE ME. (MALE TO MALE) -Means: Get the hell out of the way. 12. EXCUSE ME. (MALE TO FEMALE) -Means: I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd. 13. EXCUSE ME. (FEMALE TO MALE) -Means: Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way. 14. EXCUSE ME. (FEMALE TO FEMALE) -Means: Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, Miss Thing, coming in here dressed like a Pasadena hoochie momma...And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.) 15. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP? -Means: What's cheap? 16. EVER TRY A BODY SHOT? (MALE TO FEMALE) -Means: I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you. 17. EVER TRY A BODY SHOT? (FEMALE TO MALE) -Means: If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed? 18. THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR. -Means: Did I sleep with him/her? 19. CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER? (FEMALE) -Means: I am really annoying, but cute enough to get away with this. 20. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME. (FEMALE) -Means: I'm 19. 21. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME. (MALE) -Means: I don't have a license since I got pulled over by the cops for being stoned after my last visit here.